Chin up. Tomorrow is a new day. It could be worse. At least it’s not cancer.
May is Mental Health Month, and diabetes certainly comes with its share of mental health concerns. Living with a disease 24/7 where you have to cause pain to yourself or your child multiple times a day, just to live, can be draining to say the least.
There are very serious issues that arise, but sometimes it’s just a bad day.
Sometimes I cry
When I see a picture of him before he was diagnosed. A happy carefree toddler, who had no idea that the word diabetes even existed.
When I look at his marked fingertips, reminders of every time I’ve had to draw blood on my little boy to keep him from dying.
When I see Hippo-Bee, his little plastic horse that he got from the hospital on the day he was diagnosed.
On those days, please don’t tell me it’s no big deal and that I’m lucky to have him.
Logically, I know that, but logic has nothing to do with it.
Just let me cry.
Sometimes I feel helpless
When he has a high blood sugar and all I can do is give insulin and wait for it to work.
When his friends are playing at the playground after school and he has to sit with me, watching them, because his blood sugar is too low to play with them.
When he tells me he hates diabetes and wishes he didn’t have it anymore.
On those days, please don’t tell me that I’m lucky it’s “just diabetes and at least it’s manageable”.
I know it could be worse, but this is the difficult thing in my life right now.
Just let me feel.
Sometimes I’m frustrated
When I do everything “right”, but his numbers are still all over the place.
When all I want is to sleep through the night, just once, but diabetes won’t let me.
When other people make jokes about diabetes in front of him.
On those days, please don’t say “Well, at least it’s not cancer”.
I don’t want him to have cancer, but that doesn’t make diabetes any less frustrating and maddening.
Just let me vent.
People don’t like negative emotions
Most people get uncomfortable when sadness or anger are expressed. They don’t want to deal with it, so they try to brush it off or fix it.
But there’s a place for those emotions and making light of them usually just makes it worse.
Making the person feel like they don’t matter and their feelings are not valid. Maybe even making them feel guilty for making others uncomfortable by expressing their feelings.
It doesn’t make the feelings go away, it just shows the person that their feelings are not important or are wrong.
So when I’m having a bad day
Because instead of going to the beach, we’re at home battling ketones.
Because that simple cold that’s going around sent my child to the hospital.
Because sometimes, diabetes just sucks!
On those days, please don’t dismiss me telling me to cheer up.
I try to be positive most of the time, but sometimes it’s too much.
Just let me grieve.
May is Mental Health Month. D-Blog Week is talking Mental Health with the topic: “Throwback Thursday: What Brings Me Down.”
This post is about having a bad day, but if you’re having more serious problems with burnout, caregiver burnout, or depression don’t be afraid to seek medical help. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Some things need more than a little crying or venting.